I have a migraine headache today so I can barely see to type this, but I think I’m through the worst of it and for those of you who have never experienced one I’m going to try and describe what a migraine is or does to me.
First, all the stories you hear about the sensitivity to light are true. the best way I can describe it is this: Think of the pain of stubbing your toe a hundred times at the same instant and put it one eye, and now put it in the other eye too. That’s how sensitive I am to light. But that’s not the worst of it for me.
What’s worse is being in physical Limbo. I’m constantly on the verge of the dry heaves to the point that I’m practically praying to throw up, in hopes that throwing up would provide some relief while knowing it will only be like hitting the reset button back to being on the verge. And while I’m not normally a temperature sensitive person, I need to be cool, but I’m almost immediately chilled to the bone and if I pull a blanket over me, I’m sweating. But by far the worst part of a migraine of this magnitude is simply this: All I want to do is lie still and the last thing I can do is get comfortable. Nothing is right, not lying down, not standing up, not the low setting on a ceiling fan, not a blanket, nothing and yet, those are all things I need. In fact, that’s how I can tell when I’m through the worst part of the migraine, when I can finally get comfortable. It’s not about the pain, which is considerable. Think of a plastic garbage bag full of heavy, sharp, pointy objects. You don’t question whether the bag is going to break, that’s a given. It’s a question of when it’s going to break and will it get the job done before it breaks. With a migraine, the pain is the only true, unwavering constant, it will be there throughout and will be the last thing to go, so in its own way can be put aside and dealt with later.
And after all this, I can still say I’m lucky for a number of reasons. One, I don’t get this level of a migraine often. Two, when I do I tend to avoid the worst of it because I see the signs and can head it off most of the time with over the counter drugs and Three, I don’t generally have them for a long period of time. I have a friend who gets these for three days at a time.
So while I still have the pain, I can lie still in one place and get comfortable. Oh, and the screen is starting to look a little clearer now too. Maybe I can catch a quick nap before finally getting something to eat.